Life in Afghanistan,,,Create!!!

It's been nearly a month since I landed a new job, a new life and in very new place. Sept 2011, I remember exploring the option of redirecting my life, opening possibilities and identifying a clear pathway to do so. It was an amazing practice to leave every thing behind. Creating a life within two duffle bags.  There was sadness matched with an invigorating optimism. Hidden in every sadness is a warm appeal. Life can be funny like that. I've always wanted to become an Amaxing human being. A part of me would openly say that, "I want to be a Superhero", an idea captured during a childlike "Dream Theater" (a routinely practiced unbounded free-write of visions, dreams and possibilities).

               " I want to go where no man has gone before. 

I want to feel what no man has ever felt before. 

And I want to love like no one has ever loved before."

 Superhuman! So, what's the game in becoming "Superhuman" aka. a  Superhero? We must discover, create and/or learn a way to become beyond (natural) human? 

So what can we stand on,,,?

Foundation: 
 What the heck do I know?  I don't know what "Superhuman" is but I was effortlessly born, simply a human. A man of basic instincts and natural impulses. A man of 5 senses. A man that desires Love. A man that may Fight or Take Flight. These are the things I DID know of myself. On some level, I knew this was all that I would ever need to know to begin the journey towards becoming a Superhero; one who loves, protects, inspires, and appropriately rescues. I want to be one who would "Dare to Live" beyond the social norms or even common imaginations. I chose to grow beyond the limits of my natural self by way of humiliating, and at times disgusting, self honesty. I developed a new baseline of emotional and social comfort. A baseline that lives on the edge of my emotional and intellectual development. It didn't take long for the adrenaline to kick in, as the "edges" are the ones of extreme fear or extreme love. Both are a rush so there is a "HIGH" to be had. Yet only one serves the greater good. Who would dare to be a "Pioneer"?

                original song lyric: "I pray you take my soul to gates. 

As long as I may go,,, a Hero. 

                                          It's true we'll see another day.

But this past one was so, so, cold.

,,,and how you feel,

is who I am

Is how you feel"

 I started aggressively challenging the social interactive cliches in life by Jr. High (@ age 12). Mostly through explorative conversation. Talk about enlightening,,,. You know,,, I really just turned off the autopilot. "How are you"? respns: "Fine" to "I feel like everyone is scared to be themselves". Conversation went a little different after that one. 


 I shook things up a bit with my explorative and playful responses, or lack there of, just to see what was available. "Break the CHAIN"!!! 

 It was hard to stand alone and it took a great amount of humility to be so honest for no reason or without traditional warrant. "You were suppose to just say fine. Come on play along, I'm stuck now".  I did feel the pull to "just play along" with the cliche-ish way of life and conversation, but the results were DEAD. And I felt dead, well through feelings of frustration, loneliness and emptiness.


 I imagine that the girl that wore black, buckle weighted clothes and heavy mascara had to find some way to get over these pressures as well, of course in her own way. What ever floats our boats. For their choosing to begin down the  unavoidable path of growth,,, I always respected the outcast. Envy? Nah, we'll say "respected". I envy that they found an effective internal outlet. I was struggling to find mine, seriously. Honestly, I felt that the "weirdos"  were on to something. Something HUGE!!! Something REALLY HUGE in the matter of progressing down the path of Superheroines and heros.  They were stumbling across something that I would declare to be a necessary path of development for anyone who is to become a (whisper) "Superhero". It isn't easy to be "All that we are",,, especially around others. I'd say the goal would be to ultimately be able to stand naked in front of a massive crowd, hands held high and staring into their eyes. Wouldn't that be something. 


 Habitually abiding by the social patterns may lead us to even forget who we are. But I thought the weirdos were pretty cool and I was definitely attracted to their courage and will. As they were undeniable demonstrations of courage and will, I admit, I first noticed that their clothes were simply different than mine though. Nothing wrong with that. The question was, and is always, "Is it out of fear or love"? And to what degree I'd add. No wrong answer here, only self honesty I'd say. 


 It's amazing how big the snowball gets when we "Dare to Live" towards love. Ironically there's a cliche in the relation to fear vs. love.  Love is slower to develop but last forever whereas products of Fear comes and goes in a heartbeat.  
*Responsibility:Love vs. Ignorance (ignore/ avoid):Fear.
*Hard (must be created):Love vs. Easy (basic instincts):Fear. 
*Abundant:Love vs. Few:Fear. 
*Tense:Fear vs. Effortless:Love. 
*Loss:Fear vs. Found:Love. 
*Empty:Fear vs. Fulfilled: Love, yada, yada, yada. Its a crass way to view it but you got me. It totally works though. 


 Here I am in Afghanistan. A man of love in a place of 'Fight'. Where there's irony, there's a proof of the Supernatural to be discovered. May life be the journey of uncovering the hidden, riddled and protected path of enlightenment. There's only heaven for anyone who becomes in alignment with what's to be discovered. May we Feel Love before we are Gone. 

What a RIDE!!!! Here we go!!! lol
I love you all.


L.C. Johnson II


(Share your thoughts... comments welcomed. )